Instructions for an Even Uglier Door

Yes, my dears, you read that correctly. It truly is possible to make that ugly door even uglier.

Follow along, and you too can go from just a plain jane Ugly Door to an Even Uglier Door.

First:
Come home to find large hole in
screen above the plexiglass.

Second:
Look closer to see
Naughty Cat's
fur clinging to screen.

Third:
Assess situation in your awesome
safety glasses while muttering new
names for Naughty Cat.

Fourth:
Have sexy partner hold screen tight,
showing her awesome tattoo.

Fifth:
As before, use your head
as a clamp, but this time
also appear to be ready
to drill your  own hand.

Sixth:
Have Boy Teenager crawl under
deck to grab various dropped
nuts & bolts. Optional: cussing while
dropping various nuts & bolts.

Seventh:
Have an audience & tell
sexy partner you will not
look up for the photo op.

Eighth:
Screw second, taller piece of
plexiglass to first piece. Do so
while bending at the waist, ensuring
your chiropractor's job security.

Finally:
Assume defeated pose as you realize this
most likely is not the end of the Ugly Door instructions, given the cat is still alive.