Instructions for an Ugly Door

Watson G the Cat hates when he can't see me or he can see me but can't get to me. If someone goes outside & he doesn't realize I'm still in the house, he will stand at the door & howl this quite pathetic cry. If he can see me outside, he will scratch & nibble at the screen door until he breaks through it to get to me.

Because of his determination, we have had to replace the screen on the door, rig up road blocks consisting of hampers, bulletin board, & boxes, & chase the naughty boy through the yard after the road block doesn't, you know, block him. Thankfully Watson G is very fat so he can't run...at all...thus making catching him much easier, as long as he doesn't make it under the porch before we get to him.

The hubby decided there was no point in replacing the screen yet again so he developed a way to keep Naughty Cat in the house. Follow these easy directions & you too can have your very own ghetto screen door.

First:
Have a Naughty Cat wreck the screen.

Second:
Place a big sheet of plexiglass on inside of door so
that Naughty Cat doesn't escape while you're working.

Third:
Pull the screening down. It's essential you
lie on your side to do this. I don't know why.

Fourth:
Have Naughty Cat watch you
so he can plot his revenge.

Fifth:
Use your head as a clamp to keep
second piece of plexiglass in place.

Sixth:
Have sexy partner hand you screws.

Good job! You now have a piece of
plexiglass attached to your screen
door with 5 screws strategically
placed so that Naughty Cat cannot get out.

When you have a very determined cat who hates to be away from his Mama you need to do whatever it takes to keep his fat ass in the house.