That's Me

That's Me

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

How Was Your Day, Dear?

Whenever the hubs comes home from his long day at work, he kisses me & then asks one of these questions:

"How was your day?"


"How are you feeling?"

I don't always tell him an honest answer on either of those questions because sometimes it's nice just to let him live in a fantasy world where my day was great because children were adorable little angels & I'm not having a flare-up of epic proportions. I mean, if one of us has to live with the truth of the situation, one of us should be allowed a break from it.

Sometimes I do tell him the God's Honest truth. I mean, if one of us has to live with the truth of the situation, neither of us should be allowed a break from it.

I thought that today I would let the whole world...or at least the people who will be reading this...know how my day was & how I'm feeling. It was such an extraordinarily crappy day that I not only feel that hubby needs to know about it, but everyone else shall as well. Also, this way, I only have to relive it 1 time.

I woke up this morning to Watson G growling at the screen door. He really does not like the new door we concocted just for him. Really does not like it. He shows his hatred for the ugly door by banging his head against it, howling, & scratching at the screen.

Then I hear Nemo the cat growling. I discovered a grass hopper. In my bedroom. And she was playing with it. Grass hoppers have wings & feet. How many times have I told Nemo to protect Mommy from the terrifying, hopping beasts? Brat cat.

She kept picking it up with her mouth, spitting it out, batting it with her paw, & watching it struggle while drenched in feline spit. Over & over again. Until it died & she walked away so someone could throw it away.

While washing my hair in the shower, my right contact decided to remove itself from my eyeball. Apparently the act of raising my arms caused my right eye to change shape, thus causing the contact to not fit properly. Or something like that.

I did have mad skillz while keeping soap out of my eyes & not letting the contact fall off my eyelashes until I got out of the shower. That's talent, yo.

If you ever feel like your kids must be doing something naughty because they're just too quiet, believe it. All my years of parenting, I've known this, yet today I reveled in the quietness & read a book. While I was dying my hair I decided to check on 3 children who were outside & way too quiet. I was not prepared to find the catastrophe I did find.

Big D was holding a bucket in the middle of the street. Little Blondie was holding a long piece of newsprint paper (a large roll of it is great for making sewing patterns or crafts, just sayin') with CARWASH in a child's hand writing. Another child, who was not mine, & Ginger Girl were holding a hose & spraying water into the street.

I ran outside yelling, "What do you think you're doing??" with my hair covered in goo. As 4 heads turned to look at me with that "hand in the cookie jar" look & then stared at me, I realized I was now standing outside with goo in my hair. I sweetly informed the children to come to me so we may discuss what their joyful frolicking was all about. I may or may not have abbreviated that sentence into only a few words. But the sentiment was the same.

I am so incredibly embarrassed. Not by the state of my hair in public, but because I have no idea how many people saw the children with their "car wash" & thought I was aware of it. To all my neighbors & anyone who may have driven down my street or either of the streets on the end of my street, I am sorry my children were morons today & please forgive me for never having taught my children that we do not run around the street with a hose & a sign. That was not on my list of rules but it is now.

So, how was your day, dear?

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