Birds, Those Evil Birds

Just because I got plenty of teasing over my horribly nightmarish lunch with the murderous birds, I have to prove exactly how close these nasty creatures came to me & my precious food. This was what they did every day. They knew they had me where they wanted me.

The beasts are by the table in front of me...

...now it's between our tables...

...oh, dear Lord, it has come to eat my eyeballs! 

 Do you see how big that thing is?? It's ginormous!! It was clearly quite capable of wrapping its wings & feet around my head & pecking its way into my brain. Hideous beast.

The thing would cock its head & look at me through its evil little beady eyes & smile. No, not smile...smirk. I know what it was doing. It was trying to hypnotize me so I couldn't fight it off when it attacked my eyeballs & my head. I was not going to let it do that though; I will not be known as the chic that died at the wings & feet of a bird & did so without even fighting. After everything I've been through in life, that is not what my legacy will be.

Darn you, birds! You cannot choose my legacy!