What was horrible was my stupid mistake to decide to eat outside. Eating outside is not usually something I enjoy doing, but the weather is amazing & there are no bugs anywhere. So let's eat outside!
We're sitting there, eating, minding our own business, when out of nowhere we were surrounded. Completely surrounded. They all had their beady black eyes on us, their mouths were open, ready for attack. My heart was pounding, I was all sweaty. Every time one of their shadows went over me, I jumped out of my chair almost tipping everything over. I was completely on edge the entire time.
Damn birds! I swear hubby was like Snow White attracting the birds or something. They were just coming to him like he's the Bird Whisperer. It was freakin' me out!!
So I'm sitting there, eating, when out of the corner of my eye I see hubby quietly pointing at the middle of our table. There. Was. A. Bird! On the table!! Eyeing me up & down with his mouth open. I swear, with God as my witness, the thing whispered, "Gimme your eyeballs."
I screamed. Not a cutesy little "oh!" scream, but a full-out, I'm dying, get me out of the hands of this murderer scream. At the same time I jumped from the table, causing it & the umbrella next to it, to slide across the patio. My chair pushed back against the fence & I was up against the fence, crouched, covering my head. Still screaming.
A father stopped his 4 year old daughter from coming to rescue me. I'm sure he thought I was in dire need of some important medication for whatever mental illness ailed me & didn't want his daughter involved. But dang, those birds are scary.
The hubs is usually very nice about not picking on me for my phobias & doesn't force me to be around things that scare me. I say usually because this lunch was an exception. He laughed at me for diving from the table to get away from the monster 6' bird. I stabbed him with my plastic fork. Hubby. Not the bird.
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