That's Me

That's Me

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Small Town Traffic

I'm from a small town in Wisconsin, our rush hour traffic is at 2:00 Saturday morning when everyone is leaving the bar after spending half of their Friday paycheck. Gotta get home before the cops realize it's bar close & the babysitter or spouse gets annoyed. 'Cause cops totally have no idea what time it is & the spouse or babysitter hasn't been watching the clock for the last 2 hours. Totally.

Oh, wait, we also have rush hour traffic about an hour before sun up and an hour after sun down on opening day of hunting. Gotta get to the woods before the deer know we're after them! Gotta get to the gas station to tag this bad boy before I hit the bar! 

The city I go to school in is so large that there are multiple exits off the highway, Multiple! I know, it's crazy to me too. And it actually takes more than 10 minutes to get from one end of the city to the other end. In fact, I haven't even seen the entire city yet.

It blows the mind, doesn't it? I can cover my entire town in those 10 minutes & have time left over to get ice cream. And eat it.

The town I live in doesn't even have 1 exit off a highway to get to it. No sign saying Mayberry Next Exit. It's just a road off another road.

There are 2 of them. 2 ways into town. If you blink, you miss the road into my town. If you blink again, you miss the 2nd road and you're on your way to the next little town. Whenever someone calls and says they're lost coming to my house, I ask if they blinked while they were driving. "Turn around and hold your eyelids open."

A traffic jam in my town is always caused by the same types of vehicles. Not the kind that you would see while sitting in midday traffic for an hour in Chicago. But the kind you will only see in Mayberry.
1. A tractor. Traffic will build up behind the tractor until there is a safe spot to pass.
2. A riding lawn mower. Where else do you expect the guy to drive his lawn mower? It wouldn't be fair to put him on the sidewalk, would it?
3. A horse & buggy. That clopping sound that city people think is "cute" ain't so cute after 10 minutes of going 4 miles an hour.

We don't factor in high traffic volumes when driving places. We don't have to worry about rush hour traffic or knowing the best detours around it. We factor in traveling Amish & farmers on machinery.

This particular stretch of road is windy & hilly. No passing for miles:
Yes, my truck windows
are very dirty. You drive
behind a horse for 5
miles & see how much
that horse kicks up.

When they're pulling a buggy,
horses aren't those fast,
barreling characters you see
in the movies. 

On the other hand:

More than 1 lane. No farm equipment or
animals. Ever. 

Sometimes the slow, rural life is nice. Other times, driving at 80mph without stopping for the chickens to cross the road (literally) or Mr. Lawn Mower to pull into the grocery store is more freeing.

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