That's Me

That's Me

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Mother to an Adult

Happy Birthday, Adult Daughter!
(Ignore the spot on my shirt...Ginger Girl
got emotional over the thought of Amazing Grace
going to college & I was wearing her emotions.)
My baby girl, Amazing Grace, turned 18 today. What can I say about my oldest child turning 18? I could say a whole lot of cliches about time flying, but instead I'll just say that this was a very emotional time for me. For the last year I would get so choked up at the idea of her turning 18 and then graduating and then moving out that I couldn't even talk about it.

Monday night I pulled out her baby bucket, the one with the cards and letters I received after she was born, her white baby blanket, and a few other momentos. I hadn't looked in that bucket for 15 years because it was all in safe keeping, I knew what it was, no reason to look at it all.

I had written Amazing Grace a letter when she was 2 with the intent that she read it when she turned 18. I had stored the letter in that bucket so I went to get it out so she could read it today. I pulled out the blanket that my Great Gram made baby Amazing Grace when she was born, and that was when the tears started and I thought they would never stop.

I was not prepared for it to be this emotional, to the point where I would actually feel heart broken. I am proud of the amazing person she is, and I look forward to the choices she will make as an adult...and yet...I am sad over how fast the time went.

This girl has been my right hand for years. She has been able to take over things for me when I was sick or working. She was capable of putting the smack down on a sibling who was being annoying when I needed to work or study. She was my helper and often did things without being told, just because they needed to be done. She was the most responsible kid I knew and she is the most responsible 18 year old I know.

I simply cannot believe that I have been a Mother for 18 years, that I have an adult child, that those years really did go by in a blink. One day I was rocking my colicky daughter, I blinked, and I was  forcing myself to not run away from the hot tempered screaming toddler. The next day I was consoling a 5 year old, laughing with a 13 year old, then watching her blow out 18 candles.

In a blink. 

I am now on the next journey of parenting with one of my kids: watching her make her own choices and stepping back to allow her to make them. This is the point when I either have faith in my parenting over the last 18 years or question if everything I ever did really did prepare my child to live her own life.

Really, looking at Amazing Grace and her choices, I do have faith that I raised an adult with great morals, excellent ethics, and a head full of confidence to get her through the challenge of tackling this thing called Life. I can't wait to see what is in store for her as she creates her own Journey of Life Path, curving hers off of mine, putting us now on close but separate Paths.

I will always be right here on my Path, ready whenever she needs support. I will be here on my Path cheering her on as she forges ahead into new, unfamiliar territory, storming her way down her own Path with the fierce determination she has tackled everything else in her life.

Mommy & Amazing Grace 2014.
(More Ginger Girl emotions on my shirt.)

Mommy & Amazing
Grace 1997

Same day...
9 months old

Boyfriend &
Amazing Grace
Looking at Amazing Grace's
baby album.

Crying from the
letter I wrote her.

Smiling with her
Dilly Bar-inspired
I am so fortunate to be the mother of this amazing girl. I am thankful for her and everything she has brought to my life. The last 18 years as her Mommy have been beautiful. Now I get to enjoy being her Mom-Friend and see the beauty in that new relationship. 

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