Watson & the Evil School Supplies

I made the mistake of leaving my pencil bag open when I left the room. It was a mistake because Watson sees my pens, pencils, highlighters, knitting needles, basically anything that occupies my hands so that I can't  be mauled by pet him as mortal enemies. When they're not in use, I have to put these items where he doesn't see them because otherwise he runs off with them. 

He has, many times, actually taken them out of my hand & ran away with them. For a fat cat, he's amazingly fast & agile. 

About once a month I send a child into the abyss known as Under Mom's Bed to retrieve the many pens, highlighters, & knitting needles he has hidden under there out of my reach. His other places are behind the couch & under the TV. He doesn't fit in the 1" space under the TV but I have watched him drop items & then push them with his nose so that they go under the TV. Then he lays on his side & pushes the item with his paw & stretches to push it really far, so that is for sure out of reach & out of sight. I usually end up feeling about twenty bucks richer when the child emerges with Watson's Hidden Naughtiness because it saves me from having to go out & buy replacements of all that I've "lost". 

I spied on Fat Cat the other day when he thought I wasn't watching him & saw what he does to my poor, innocent school supplies when he's left alone with them. Poor, poor, innocent school supplies. 

"Nom nom nom."

"Now I shall drop you, pink
marker, & go for your friends."

"And now I shall reach in with my
face & pull each marker out one
by one."

"Look at all these evil
markers submitting to my
powers." 

"Wha...there's more?!"

"I will get you second
green marker!"

"Wait..."

"...what is that I see?"

"Ninja powers enact!"

"Nom nom nom."

"I will get you, new
purple object I know
nothing about!"

"Binder clip, you are now my
nemesis." 

"And you shall pay!"

"I will now employ
my Super Fat Cat
Powers."

"One paw maneuver."

"Now two paw maneuver."

"And off to my dungeon you
shall be carried to never
see the light of day again,
Binder Clip! Bwahahaha!"

Now I have to add binder clips to the items to keep from him. Neurotic Cat is terrified of anything with shiny metal (scissors, curling iron, hair trimmer, whisk...) & goes absolutely bat shit crazy when he sees them & he hates school supplies & knitting needles & must hide them on me. 

Good thing I have a lot of those binder clips to hold me over till I send a child under the bed to get that one.