That's Me

That's Me

Monday, November 18, 2013

Blondie's Birthday

We celebrated Blondie's Birthday last night because it was the only night we were all home.

Blondie is a routine person & when she likes something she sticks with it. So it was no surprise that she wanted Subway for her Birthday dinner, just like every Birthday since she could say "Subway." After we all ate our own custom-made sandwich, we lit her candles on her Reese's cake & sang Happy Birthday. Then I realized I didn't have my camera, which, like, never happens.

As I ran for the camera, everyone began singing in slow motion so the song wouldn't end before I got back to document it. An interesting phenomenon occurs when people are singing in slow motion: their voice gets deeper. We had a lot of baritones last night.

I got back in time to finish the last line of the song.

On cue, Blondie leaned in to blow out her candles...

Candle Blow-out Bomb

...& like a stealthy little candle blower, Amazing Grace swooped in & blew them out just before Blondie did. From several feet away she got every single candle. Nice shot, Amazing Grace.

So we lit the candles again. 

Now I have something to say here about lighting Birthday candles. They're little & they burn down fast. There are several options for lighting these special candles. One would be to take the lighter & go around the cake, lighting each one as you go. Another one is hubby's preferred way: light one candle & use that to light the rest. Both of these are wrong.

The best way just so happens to be my way. Light a spaghetti noodle (uncooked, if I have to be specific for my non thinking-for-themselves friends) & use that to light each candle. It keeps your hand far away from the flame on each candle because, dude, flames like to lick fingers & it's not a gentle lick. It hurts. 

How many parents does it
take to light B-day candles?
My family laughed at me. Hubby said my way was pointless & he could do it just fine. The words had just left his mouth when, as he was lighting candles, the side of his hand was met with a flame licking. Not from me. I can shoot flames from my eyes, but this time it was a candle that got him. Now who's laughing?

As many as it takes to each prove
their method is the best.
Having to relight the candles meant I had to grab a new spaghetti noodle (still uncooked) but hubby is an impatient hubby. Not wanting to be outdone & let him do all the lighting, I still joined in. He just happened to get to each candle before I did, the snot.

So we sang again, only this time I had the camera & we'd already sung it once, so we sang on turbo speed. Since turbo speed is the opposite of slow motion speed, another interesting phenomenon happens: those same baritones become sopranos.

No Blow-Out Bombs

No one stepped in at the last second to get to the candles first, but I don't think it was because they were being thoughtful of Blondie. They didn't want anymore delays in eating the cake.

Blondie decided this was her slice.

Then she couldn't wait &
 tried to eat it off the platter.

Poor Amazing Grace
didn't like the  plop piece
of cake she got.

"I heard that song about happy
Birthdays. I don't know why they sing
it, but I know good food comes after it.
Where's mine?"

What's a Birthday party without your brother showing a video of a 75 year old woman in her britches singing Wrecking Ball while holding a mallet? 

Amazing Grace is
greatly bothered.

Boy Teenager is traumatized
by that vision for life.
Blondie thought it was hilarious. 
"I could have done
without that video."

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