That's Me

That's Me

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Wedding Firsts, Duck Farts, & Lots o' Fun

Last Saturday I was the Plus 1 for a wedding of someone I don't know, in a far away place I've never been, & I couldn't have had more fun. Half Brain's friend got married 2 1/2 hours away, so I was a-road trippin' with the other half of my brain. 

When Half Brain & I get together, there is sure to be entertainment for all involved. Between talking about our men's obsessive habits, our children's gas, freakish kidney infections, & who's farts sound like ducks, how could you not be entertained? I mean, seriously. When you look outside for ducks flying overhead & find out it's actually coming out of someone's butt, or you both go running out of the car as if you're on fire because the fart smells so bad, you know it's a rockin' time. 

Unless someone thinks they're sneaky when they're not...

"Do not take a picture
of me eating."

And tell me, what the frick is this & why is it at the reception spot? 

A fenced-in, cemented pit...

...with benches...

...a dirt bottom, & rain water.

Is it a big ass fire pit? A ce-ment pond? A pen for disobedient, rowdy children who don't follow the park's rules? Small, empty rink for one-on-one hockey? A pen for tethered pony rides? Holding tank for drunks 'cause once they're in they can't figure out how to get back out? Sadly, we will never know. 

Another question posed during the day & night...

Why would they put the open bar
a mile from the restrooms?!

As I was getting dressed for the wedding, Half Brain texted to let me know that the bride herself said to bring jeans & a sweatshirt for after the ceremony. If that's the kind of girl the bride is, then I was not going to wear a dress on a cold day. Seeing as how Wisconsin still hasn't figured out this whole Seasons Thing & doesn't remember that August is normally Kill Me Hot & Humid, I dressed for the lovely Autumn weather its throwing at us instead. For the first time in my life, I wore dress pants to a wedding. It was only the first of Firsts to come for the day.

Half Brain & Eddi Girl
After our 2 1/2 hour drive to the ceremony, we were darn tootin' glad we wore pants. I've never seen so many jeans & tennies at a wedding before. When I actually got cold (me, cold?) during the reception, I performed another Wedding First for me. I put on a sweatshirt. At a wedding! I didn't put on the jeans I brought, so I totally rocked the sweatshirt with dress pants & pearls. Rocked it!

The bride was beautiful, the bridesmaids were beautiful, the wedding colors were beautiful, & the reception was a lot of fun. They nailed the wedding thing.

I've never been to a wedding where the couple just walked down the aisle without a kiss or being pronounced Mr. & Mrs. Another First for me. Apparently the Pastor doesn't like "demanding" a couple to kiss so he leaves it out of his wedding ceremonies. Chalk that up to another First for me. Color me confused, but I thought everyone knew that kissing to mark the beginning of the marriage is common knowledge. I never thought of it before, but I guess a couple could tell their Pastor that they don't want to be commanded to kiss in front of their loved ones, knowing full well that it's a wedding expectation. Saying he doesn't want to "demand" a couple do something like, Heaven forbid, kiss on their wedding day, & instead not letting them choose if they want to pretty much demanding they not kiss, isn't it? Seems like this Pastor who doesn't want to demand things is pretty demanding after all. Darn him.

It's not often, in fact practically never, that Half Brain & I get to do something alone. A whole day of being a Complete Brain together? Yes, please.

And on the way home...
"She has night blindness too??
We're totally screwed!"

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