Me: No way!! That is not what I was expecting to find at all!
Hubby: That's not going to work out.
Me: That's way too much.
Hubby: Yeah, forget that idea.
Me: Hey, put that thing away.
Hubby: I got it out 'cause I'm thirsty. I just need to get it up here.
Me: Can you fit your mouth around the entire thing?
Me: Oh my gosh, you have a big mouth! I can't believe you can fit that whole thing in there.
Me: I can't believe you just put that in your mouth! Do you know where that has been?
Hubby: Uh. No.
Me: You should wash that thing once in a while.
Me: It's pink. That's not very manly.
Hubby: I dunno, it's brown to me. [Mr. Color Blind]
Me: Don't bring that near me....Stop!...No, that is not going in my mouth now! You're not putting that anywhere inside my body!
Hubby: Come on, it's not a big deal, you can handle it.
Me: It's too big to fit. Put it away!
Hubby: No, it likes being out.
Me: Put that thing away. I don't want it near me. I'ts just going to make me wet & I don't wanna be wet tonight.
Blondie: Hey!! I don't wanna hear what is going on in there!
Without knowing that we were talking about the price of a vacation spot we had just looked up information on & the hubby man's big ol' water bottle, a child doing laundry on the other side of our bedroom door would justifiably be traumatized over all of that.
I bet she never eavesdrops at our door again.