That's Me

That's Me

Monday, April 15, 2013

Fly with Wine & Cook with Fairies After Midnight

The strangest things happened last week. Okay, given this is me I'm talking about, it's most likely not the strangest things to happen but in someone else's world they just might register high on the Strange Scale. 

I probably wouldn't have noticed either of them if I had had my hubby here with me, because we learned that my insomnia increases greatly when he is away. I got between 2 and 3 hours of sleep every night he was gone. There's something so comforting about hearing him sleeping next to me or waking in the night & having him right beside me. 

Laying in bed, cruising The Facebook, wishing I could fall asleep at 3 in the morning, I suddenly had a strong desire for bacon & eggs. Very strong desire. I frequently think about food, I love food, I crave food, as I'm eating 1 meal I'm thinking about what I get to devour at the next, but bacon & eggs in the wee hours of the morning was a new one even for me. 

Then I heard it. The sound that was creating this craving was coming from the roof. I looked outside & it was an ice storm. Ice on chimney sounds like bacon & eggs sizzling. It's pretty awesome actually. Even if it was a wee bit disappointing to find that it was just ice on the roof. Not that I thought we had some Bacon & Egg Fairy cooking me my heart's desire in the kitchen. 

And this is the product of that ice storm...

Not bacon & eggs, darn it. 

The other strange thing that occurred was a loud...not quite a bang & not quite a boom...sound, again at 3 in the morning. The dog jumped up & barked, the cats yawned as they sprang off the bed & followed me to the sound in the kitchen. I wasn't thinking, "Aw crap, someone's in my house." I was thinking, "What did those construction guys not nail in properly that I now have to get out of bed in order to deal with? Someone's gonna pay." I thought for sure I'd find my bathroom falling apart, drywall smashed to pieces on the floor, nails strewn about for me to step on in the dark. It wasn't that catastrophic. 

Sticky red liquid spraying onto my floor from the wine rack.
Since wine racks don't bleed, it could only be one thing.
Watson investigated.

A cork lying next to the desk
10 feet away & across the room.
Nemo was not in the mood to investigate.

The offender. 
The desk across the room
 covered in wine. 

It turns out that wines like to lose their corks & spew their contents at random times. Who knew! Thankfully it was a cheap, not-so-tasty wine, so maybe it was Wine Taste Tester Fairies doing me a favor? Perhaps they tasted it & that was their version of spitting it out? I'm not sure it was bad enough for that strong of a reaction, but those damn fairies definitely owe me for cleaning up their mess. 

As I stood there contemplating whether it needed to be cleaned up ASAP (thus delaying my sleep even further) or if it could wait until morning...under the excuse that I didn't want to wake children with the noise I would surely make while cleaning...I have to admit that I was quite impressed with the distance that wine was able to cover. Feminine hygiene products aren't the only things with wings anymore. Wine with wings! 

At least the cork didn't take out the window behind the desk. After one of the construction guys broke a window in my garage & had to replace it, I'm really glad I didn't need to give them one more job to do on my home. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Come on, spill what you're thinkin'...