That's Me

That's Me

Sunday, February 26, 2012

A Wee Bit Overwhelmed

I was talking to this lady one day & the usual "what do you do?" came up. Then she says, "I could never go back to school! I'm way too busy!" Wanna piss me off? Say this to me. Seriously.

If I hadn't been getting my nails done, meaning that I didn't want to mess up my wet polish, my new nails would have gone into the other lady's eye sockets. No lie. Instead I just said, "Great for you. I'm going on Facebook now." Judging by the look on the lady's face when I picked up my phone, she understood that her eyeballs just missed a shish kabobbing.

I'm not going to say you're not as busy as me or compare our lives. What one person thinks is "busy" another doesn't. Whatever. But this, "I'm too busy for school!" crap makes me so angry. You might as well tell me I sit around eating bon bons all day. Or that it must be so easy for me.

Nope, not easy. Not a quiet life filled with endless hours just for studying.

If you run into a mother who is also a student, please say to her, "Good for you for doing whatever you have to to meet your goal & for showing your kids how important goals are." Or even, "That degree is obviously very important to you & it shows because it can't be easy." Trust me, it'll go far. A hundred people could say it to me & the 101th person would still bring tears to my eyes. You know why?

'Cause I have little meltdowns. I'm overwhelmed. I feel guilt for not being at my kids' games. I feel anger when I have to decide which thing in my life will get my attention today...because I know no matter which one I choose, I'll regret it. Do I take time to give into my illness & regret not studying? Do I go to class knowing I'm missing my son's big wrestling match? Do I study after comforting my daughter who was crying 'cause she misses me? Do I have date night with hubby knowing I'll be up extra late the next day to make up for the missed studying hours? Do I watch the movie I've been dying to see or finish that paper that won't write itself? It never stops. Pick one & 12 more are abandoned.

Any aspect of my life is a lot...just the amount of children in this house is enough to overwhelm some people. Dude, 6 kids is a lot. There, I said it. I always wanted 6 kids & when I think about going down to just a few I can't decide which ones to send to Grandma's for the rest of their childhood.

Not that I don't want to do it, but because the one(s) I'd send changes on a daily basis. Today it's these 2, yesterday it was those 3. I don't want to send some to Grandma's & then regret my decision because tomorrow I decide I sent the wrong ones.

I've been doing this parenting things for 15 1/2 years, guess I can do it for a while longer.

If I could just freeze parts of my life so I could focus on other parts without guilt, and one at a time, I'd be great. Why didn't God design it that way? Seriously, I could accomplish so much!

Whenever a part of life is frozen, you are incapable of even thinking about it. Just focus on the one thing then thaw out the next part you need to focus on when the little app on your phone flashes "thaw out the kids...and dinner." Dude, I would never have another migraine. Imitrex would no longer be my side kick.

The kids all need to be picked up at different places tonight? Cool, don't have to worry about work or homework or class or...just go do it 'cause that's all that matters right that second. Got a friend that you want to go visit? Awesome, freeze the kids, the school work, the house work, the bills...spend some great time with a friend without worrying that you're not doing the other stuff.

That nasty illness that I have that disables me & makes me want to leave my own body? I'd freeze that permanently. To Dr. Specialist that told me on Monday, "There's no cure..." yeah, he's frozen too. That's for not saying what I wanted to hear. Let that be a lesson.

I think I like this frozen idea. That chic that looks like a clone of Snooki in one of my classes? Frozen. Just 'cause I don't like Snooki & this chic's orange skin & ratty poofy hair drives me nuts & going nuts is very distracting.

And now I'm going to take my laptop into the bathroom so that I can listen to the webcast of my class while I'm in the shower. I'm nothing if I'm not efficient with my time.

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