Eddi Girl: A New Test

We're chilling on the couch & hubby decides to educate Ethel & me on witches. Not fun "here, little girl, eat my poison apple witches" 'cause that would just be weird if hubby knew more about fairy tales than we do. He was talking about the olden day witches that got killed by Puritans or Quakers or whatever they were. The witch killer people in the town named after cigarettes.

He said, "They would throw the accused into a lake with a rock around them as a test. If they popped back up out of the water, they weren't witches. If they didn't, they were. Obviously they were all witches."

Personally, I would think if a chic with a rock around her neck can pop back up out of the water, I'm shooting the bitch 'cause that's just freaky. I'm not even going to stand around waiting to congratulate her ass for getting out of that mess. I'm shooting then running, 'cause if all my horror movie watching has taught me anything it's that the freaks don't die the first time you shoot them.

And I'm not gonna be like the stupid women in scary movies that stand there gasping for breath, all, "whew that fight is over even though there's 45 minutes left in this movie" while the monster is waking up behind their backs & they don't see it coming. I'm running & screaming before the witch hits the ground.

I said, "I like the test idea. I'm going to tie a brick around you & throw you in the river. If you make it out of the water, you don't love me."

Hubby said, "Wow. That's a complete lose-lose."

Not that I would actually do it. That's just way too much work. Get a brick, get a rope, drive to the river, get hubby out of the car, make him stand still while I tie it...totally exhausting, not worth it.

I'd rather test his love by putting on a pair of Mom Jeans & telling him he has to take me to dinner like that. Where all his coworkers that I haven't met yet will be.