That's Me

That's Me

Friday, October 25, 2013

The Britches Doth Offend

Every other morning I wake up to the hubby man's britches on the floor. He's not generally a messy person, so at first I thought he was either...

a)...using his pent up frustrations to spread his undies on the floor. I pictured gritted teeth, arms rotating in 360° circles, flinging britches all around him ala machine gun style, silently cursing every single thing that tormented him the day before.

b)...secretly a very messy person & has hidden it from me for 4 years. Unable to hold it back any longer, the untidiness was literally bursting to show itself in this one area.

c)...storing something toxic in that drawer, causing britches to bubble over like witch's brew.

d)...not the culprit & we really do have our very own Toby. Have you seen Paranormal Activity? If so, then you know who Toby is. Or, rather, what Toby is. Any time something unexplainable happens in our home, we blame Toby. A cat staring at something across the room that we can't see? "Toby, quit teasing the cat!" A cupboard door shuts on its own? "Toby, I needed that open." Weird human noise when no one else is in the home? Scream, "Toby!!" while running half-naked out of the house. Some unseen figure pulling you out of bed & down the hall? Burn the house down while fearing Toby.

Turns out I was wrong on all accounts. At least, none of these were responsible for the man undies on the floor in the mornings.

I have woken up to this mess, put the britches all back, shut the drawers, & went on my way, unsure of how to confront hubby on his underwear-dressing ways. Finally, on a few occasions, I walked back in to find the culprit hard at work.

Every time, the culprit would stop & run away before I would be able to get a picture to prove that this was happening, because of course no one else in the house believed me that there was a britches-throwing phantom in our house.

I present to you: The Britches Thrower.

Nope, didn't want to nap there. Just wanted
to make sure the drawer was completely disheveled. 

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