That Darn Small Intestine

Hubby walks into the room holding onto his stomach, "Ooh, my duodenum hurrrrrts."

Seriously. This is what I live with.

I roll my eyes. "You wouldn't even know you had a duodenum if it wasn't for me telling you the 3 parts of your small intestine."

Hubby's answer, "Nuh-uuuh-uuuh."

"You don't even remember them or where your duodenum is, do you?"

He gives me a big grin like he just won the lottery or saw boobies, "Nope!"

Hubby: "Wait...colon, duodenum..."

Me: "Je...ju......"

Hubby: "Jew?"

Me: "No. Je-juuuuu..."

Hubby: "You saying I have a Jewish colon? I didn't know colons have religions. How do you know what each colon believes?"

Me, with the patience of teaching a third grader New Math: "No, dear. I'm giving you a hint on what it starts with. Jeju...'Heeeey Jude.'" (it's totally normal for everything to somehow lead a person to sing a Beatles song, right?)

Hubby, as he walks away: "I'll remember it in a minute." 

Me, yelling to his back: "No Googling!"

Hubby: "You think you know me so well."

I gave the hubs a few minutes before I tiptoed behind him while he was on his computer. Suddenly he exited out of a tab with the speed of a not-so-sneaky boy getting caught watching porn.

Me: "Did you find it?"

Hubby, with a look of pure innocence: "Find what?"

Yeah, 'cause I have never seen the Innocence Look from him before. I've definitely never seen it every time I make cookies & come back in the kitchen to find 4 missing from the cooling rack. Or when I ask if he remembered to take the list, the list that took me 20 minutes to painstakingly write for him, when he went to the store.

"I saw you click out of a page. Did you find the name?"

Hubby continues his Innocence Look but won't look me in the eyes, "You don't know me." After a few seconds & in a quieter voice I hear, "Jejunum."

This picture, though taken on a different day,
completely shows how that conversation ended.
Minus the mud, though that would have made
for a funnier story.