That's Me

That's Me

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Homecoming Week 2013

"Good morning, stump
that does not belong on my
deck!" Magically appearing
objects in random place,
it must be Homecoming.
Every Homecoming I set out cookies for the TP Fairies. We always get hit hard by those darn TP Fairies & they work hard for a whole week, plotting who/how/when to hit with TP, dressing in the appropriate black attire, shopping for tons of TP & napkins, & spending money on gas to get around to all the houses. It's a lot of work, yo. They're growing teens exerting a lot of energy away from their X-Box games, they need to keep up their blood sugar so they don't pass out. They also don't have time for dinner in all of that busyness & no one wants starving teenagers on their hands, do they? Cookies it is. 

With everyone knowing about the readily available cookies in our back yard, & them having gotten their cookies for several nights in a row, Boy Teenager got an idea. He took an empty Tupperware, placed it where it was easily seen, & waited in a very special, secret spot for someone to take his bait. 

I'm not sure why he thought it would work, because I always place the Tupperware of cookies on one of the fire pit stumps & you'd think those kids would have realized that this one is 1) a bowl, not the rectangle I always use & 2) in the middle of the yard, exactly where no Tupperware should be. 

Lonely little Tupperware... the middle of the yard.
It worked. Apparently TP Fairies aren't that bright. 

The TP Fairies saw the Tupperware, started to make their ascent on our fence, & Boy Teenager was poised & waiting in the dark. Just as they were about to jump down into Eddi World, Boy Teenager let off a bottle rocket from the roof. 

Somewhere there are 8 kids' parents wondering why their 16 year old has soiled underpants in the hamper. 

Bush looks like it didn't like the
TP & started stripping it off.

That's a whole lotta TP.

Just 1 lonely string
of TP on this whole bush.
I like how they wrapped this stump that
had been around the fire pit. 

Side of house.


The TP Fairies managed to wrap my tomato fence in my garden (bonus: they didn't hurt any of my plants) & a teeny tiny little baby tree even got one teeny tiny little piece of TP on it.

When all was said & done, we ended up with 3 full & 2 partial rolls of TP that were left behind the night that I inadvertently interrupted their shenanigans by looking out the patio door. Nothin' says fun at my house like free TP.

The game was Friday night & the Homecoming Dance was last night. Boy Teenager was just over the top handsome. I'm not just saying that because I'm his Mom. I'm not the least bit biased.

His cat Sophie, who does everything
he does. She even sat on the couch
leaning forward, looking ahead, because
she thinks she's just an extension of him.

Hubby made the mistake of saying the most horrid thing to me last night. I pointed out how Sophie kept following Boy Teenager & going wherever he went, like always, but when he sat on the couch, she would look at him like "what are we doing here now?" & then always sat how he sat. It was fun to watch her following him around like that. Then hubby ruined it.

"Sophie is going to lose it & go psycho in 2 years when he goes away to college."

"You mean 14 years." 

Hubby just smirked. He smirked! Does he not understand the necessity of me living in denial about Boy Teenager's age? What is so hard for him to understand about this concept? In order for me to not lose all grasp of reality, I need to have this 1 teeny tiny bit of untruth be my truth. What about that doesn't make sense? It's simple, really: Boy Teenager is eternally 4 years old, loves me above all else, thinks I'm the keeper of all knowledge & powers. I am Super Woman to him still, because he is still 4. I have seen the future & a son that outgrows all of that is not what I enjoy, so I am choosing to not live in that future. 

Boy Teenager & me. I'm a lucky Mom.
Boy Teenager is not 15, he is not going to college in 2 years, & he has not given up on the thought that girls other than Mommy have gross bugs & will make him sick. 

Boy Teenager doesn't often let me take his picture. Pictures of goofy stuff are okay, but a posed picture of just himself or with me? Heck no. When I asked if I could take his picture before he left for the dance & he actually said yes, I ran faster than I have ever run to get the camera, & I took as many pictures as I dared to take without annoying him & ruining the moment. 

When I asked him if he would take a picture with me & he said yes, I jumped to get next to him so fast that I didn't even care that I was wearing hubby's sweats & looked tired. I got a picture with my boy & that meant more to me than anything else in the whole world. I even got out of him more than 1 picture of the 2 of us together. He must have been feeling rather charitable last night. 

Now that Homecoming is officially over, I no longer have to worry about being watched while in my own home. I can go back to sleeping with the patio door in my bedroom open & blinds not drawn before 5 at night, because anyone who is that close to my house anymore can & will be prosecuted. 

Oh, & anyone over the age of 18 caught that close to my home, watching anyone in my home or yard, will be prosecuted regardless of the time of year. This week off from the law only extends to high schoolers. Sorry, stalkers, if I ruined your big plans on that one.

Until next year at this time, the Tupperware stays out of the yard & the TP stays out of the trees.  And no one sits on the roof with bottle rockets. 

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