That's Me

That's Me

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Boy Teenager's Not-so-Secret Admirer

Boy Teenager made a very bad mistake. A horrible, no good, very bad, rotten mistake. 

He left the house for several hours with me in it with my fall decorations. 

Oh, these children just do not learn, do they? 

I took my girl scarecrow & set her on his chair with his X-Box controller in her hands but since she doesn't technically have hands, she couldn't technically hold onto the controller. That sucked 'cause just setting her there made me giggle & I knew he'd love to walk into his room at curfew to find that. Love it. 

Since she also doesn't have a butt, I discovered that when I'd let go of her, she didn't stay seated. Little bitch would just slide out of the chair. Um, hello, that is not what I told you to do. 

Since she doesn't have a brain, therefore also lacks the ability to understand when I rant & rave at her, I settled for laying her in Boy Teenager's bed with a note to show that she was speaking to him. Not being, you know, alive means that I have to write her words down for her. 

Then I waited. 

"I just want to love you."

And waited. 

Boy Teenager came home at 11:11 & went to the shower. I waited some more. 

When I heard him go into his room, I waited with bated breath. I think that means I held my breath, so I used that word because that's what I did. I held my breath. 

Boy Teenager's reaction was so awesome!

Awesomely disappointing. 

After I don't know how long of waiting for him to find Miss Scarecrow in his bed, I stopped the bated breath thing. I don't know how long it was but I know I don't have super breath bating powers so I'm guessing it was not as long as it felt because I'm still alive. 

In the morning I found Miss Scarecrow on the floor just outside Boy Teenager's bedroom. I think that means he secretly enjoyed her attention & affection, but being a boy & a teenager (hence his name), he didn't want to give that away. 

The lack of "Mom!!" or flying of scarecrow bits did disappoint me. If Boy Teenager is going to play hard ball, I'm just going to have to amp up my game. Watch out, son, 'cause it's on.

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