My Beloved Purse's Sad Day

I was looking for a certain not-new item, so I stopped at The Store of Not-New...

...aka Goodwill. I searched high, I searched low, & I searched some more. I watched a man pick his nose & wipe it on an article of clothing hanging on a rack. I watched a woman talk to her shopping cart. 

"Do these people know
I can see them?"

But I persevered & managed to overlook all of that & I found the particular not-new item. I went to check out. Apparently the odd people-ness wasn't to stop at the shoppers, like I had just assumed it would. Bummer.

After the checkout lady gave me my total, I reached into my purse for a form of payment. As I'm looking down at my purse, pulling money out of my purse, I see a hand reach toward my purse. My lovely, beloved, Dooney & Bourke purse that I got for Christmas because I was such a good girl in 2012. 

This purse. This lovely, perfect purse. 

This hand didn't stop short of my beloved purse. No, it petted my purse. As I'm looking down, I see a hand petting my purse.

"What is going on here?"

I paused with my hand hovering above my beloved purse. I looked at that hand petting my purse.

I contemplated what to do next.

"What exactly are 
my options here?"

I wasn't quite sure what to do next so I slowly looked up at the check out lady.

"Are you petting my purse?"

The checkout lady said, "I just love plastic purses!" 

"Did you call my
leather purse plastic?"

"I...er...what?"

It's not often I don't know what to say.

Moral of the story: setting your beloved purse on a checkout counter could just invite an awkward accosting complete with insults.