That's Me

That's Me

Thursday, March 21, 2013

My Sky Has 6 Stars

Before class today my  co-conspirator classmate & I were coming up with acronyms for me to memorize the  stupid so very interesting chart of  nonsense interesting medical  jargon tid bits. I do well with acronyms, especially when it's something like these were--just letters, not words, not initials.

The letters didn't stand for anything, weren't short for anything, didn't represent anything. Literally just random letters...arbitrarily chosen by some sadistic scientist in Germany who is so in love with his microscope that he named it Betsy, has no ability whatsoever to talk to any female that did not give birth to him, & laughed & laughed & laughed at the thought of future nursing students trying to memorize his meaningless chart.

I don't actually know that is who named these little buggers but I'm totally going to write up a Wikipedia for that & make other people think it's true. 'Cause they can't put anything that's not true on Wikipedia.

So we worked with the letters to put together a system for me to easily remember, because we know this teacher. If it's difficult to remember, it's guaranteed to be on the test. Guar.An.Teed.

After a few acronyms that didn't help much, I came up with one that stuck: General Eddi's Mighty DD Boobies. And when I took my test, guess who got an awesome grade? That's right.

Not just for me either. My  co-conspirator classmate also got an awesome grade.

I can guarantee that neither of us will ever look at that chart the same way again.

I was so happy with this amazing acronym saving my butt on that test that I didn't get out & beat Mr. Toyota's butt while at the round-about on my way home. He deserved it. But I didn't do it. Instead, I stayed in my truck & muttered, "Idiot. The round-about doesn't have stop lights."

When I left him he was still sitting there, waiting for all the other cars entering to leave the round-about, with the cars behind him angrily honking their horns. This particular round-about has so much traffic at 5:15 at night that when there is half a car space between cars in the lane you want to get into, you go. You don't wait. I wonder if he's still sitting there waiting to get to the other side. Maybe I should have gotten out & held up my hands to the traffic & let him through, like when ducklings need to cross the road. Who knows.

When I got home Ginger Girl gave me the most distressing news. She  no longer believes in leprechauns. And not just leprechauns in general, but the Leprechaun that always visits us on St. Patrick's Day each year. My heart is broken. Somehow I never envisioned the day when my red head would no longer believe in leprechauns.

She was on my laptop & saw my Word program was open. The letter the Leprechaun wrote & left the kids on Sunday just happened to be the document that was up. "I know you wrote it. It was the exact same words & font, Mommy." I'm a quick thinker & I said, "I had no idea the Leprechaun wrote it on my laptop. It makes sense, he has to write them somewhere, right? I don't mind that he used it."

She told me, "It's okay, Mommy. I know they're not real. That just confirmed it for me." It shouldn't surprise me that a kid who uses words like "confirmed" & tells her teacher she has "rhinorrhea" instead of a runny nose (a real medical term, look it up) doesn't believe in Leprechauns, but this was me:

About a month ago she told me she figured out that fairies aren't real. It broke my heart. She'll be 10 next month so I knew it was coming, but I wasn't ready for it. I'll admit I cried over the end of the magic for her when she told me she knew fairies weren't real. And just like that day a month ago, tonight she patted my hand & looked at me with her big brown eyes & said, "But I'll pretend with you that they're real because they do make us happy."

I'm not like a lot of other Moms, crying over 1 year old Birthday cakes or the first day of Kindergarten with sobs of, "He's growing up so fast!" Yeah, they grow & they'll continue to do so. I never understood all that boo-hooing over a fact of life, kids grow up.  But lately the realization of my kids growing more independent has been difficult for me. In 2 years my oldest will be out of the house & I'm just not ready for that. Ginger Girl no longer believing in fairies & Leprechauns, 2 things she loved & got so much joy out of, just drives it home even more--I'm no longer a Mama of little ones that need & rely on me for everything. I'm not as needed as I once was & that's pretty hard to take for a Mama who lives to take care of her babies.

All that may be why I had the reaction that I had to a baby on TV tonight.

Hubby & I were watching The Bible. Awesome series, by the way. I have no idea if it was actually on tonight because with our schedules we don't actually know when any show is on anymore. DVR for the win.

So we're watching The Bible & Abraham tells Sarah he was told by God that they will have "decedents as numerous as the stars." I laughed when Sarah gave him The Wife Look. Even way back in BC times, there was The Wife Look. Which means even back in BC times, husbands were stupid.

You know The Wife Look. Every wife eventually perfects it because every husband deserves it more than a few times. Like when he says some off the wall nonsense like, "Are you making dinner or would you rather go out to eat tonight?"

It works equally as well for moments when he has clearly lost his mind & says such stupidity as, "I don't scrub toilets, I'm a man" or "Have those jeans always been that tight on you?" (Thankfully hubby has never been this stupid.)

I laughed because it's funny to see another woman do The Wife Look. And poor old Abraham just kept excitedly talking as if he didn't see it. Oblivious old man.

Hubby asked me, "Would you give me that look if I said God spoke to me?" I told him I wouldn't give him that look if he said God spoke to him but if he said that I was going to have a baby now, given that I cannot have babies, I would definitely give him that look. He acknowledged that he could see why Sarah gave Abraham The Wife Look.

Much later in the show, Sarah is holding her newborn baby (if I ruined the show for you, you need to pick up a Bible) & I said, "Aww! Let's go get one!"

Without missing a beat, hubby's answer was, "The Lord has spoken & our decedents will be as numerous as 6 stars."

No comments:

Post a Comment

Come on, spill what you're thinkin'...