Tonight I got home to a child yelling, "Mom! I need help picking out my clothes for the dance!" As I waited for said child to exit the shower, I went through some clothes hoping to find the most perfect outfit to accentuate whatever it is that my strict rules will allow a teenager to accentuate.
As I helped this awesome child of mine into the articles of clothing laying on the bed: bra, tank top, t-shirt, jeans, tennies with pink shoe laces, I just marveled at how 14 1/2 years ago I never pictured doing these things. At least not with this kid.
As I applied the black eye liner & black mascara, making it just perfect to highlight my baby's brown eyes, I fought to hold back the one small tear that was threatening to slide down my cheek. It was such a proud moment for me.
The tear slipped from my eye as this moment made me think of all the mothers out there who don't get to experience a moment such as this with their son.
Yup. My son went to the Halloween dance as a girl. A very beautiful girl. I never once thought I would be calling Boy Teenager beautiful...or showing him how to put on his first bra. Or eyeliner. Or that my hubby would be telling him exactly how to sit for me to get the best angle for the eyeliner. I guess it's only fitting that my son follow in his Steddy's (he's more than a Step-Daddy, he's a Steddy) footsteps & don the girly attire for the fun of Halloween.
Dressing Boy Teenager in a bra was an experience all on its own.
At first he was horrified at wearing his sister's bra. He actually asked me if it was new. Hubby summed up a bra best when he said, "It's not like underwear with someone else's crotch in it. A chest is a chest." Boy Teenager then asked if it was one of Amazing Grace's friends'. With the way these girls have an open closet policy--even my closet is included in that, I discovered when Other Daughter returned one of my shirts--there is always a possibility that the laundry I am doing is not strictly my own children's. I assured Boy Teenager that it was indeed his sister's bra. He was still a little hesitant so I made him more sure of his decision to wear Amazing Grace's bra with these words, "You could wear mine, Bud." Yeah, that did it.
|"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."|
Boy Teenager sat & looked at that thing, turning it around in his hands, putting one strap over here, one over there, holding it upside down, then backwards. He just could not figure that contraption out. It took hubby holding up the bra & me guiding Boy Teenager's arms into the straps to get him into it. Which, I gotta admit, made me just a wee bit happy knowing that he hadn't been up close & personal with a bra yet.
As I hooked it closed in the back, hubby showed him how to unhook it with 1 finger. Ah, father/son bonding, nothing like it.
We had the bra, we had Amazing Grace's clothing. We just needed moobles. Moobles, according to The Eddi Dictionary, is a word formed out of the root words: male & boobies.
We tried baby pumpkins...
|Not good moobles.|
...and while they were the correct size for his frame--come on, big boobs would just look ridiculous--his cleavage was just not...right. We resorted to every lonely teenage girl's friend. The infamous cotton boobage from...The Sock Drawer.
In all the years of my Mama Career, this is the first time I have ever had to shape one of my child's boobies. I have fielded a whole million tons of questions about them. I have even talked to Extra Daughters & Other Daughter about them. I have honestly never molded them into just the right curvature. It's true what they say, there is a first time for everything.
My son's moobles:
|"Haters gon' hate."|
I spiked his hair up all around his head, doused him till he was choking on hair cement, & he was ready for the ball...er...dance.
I begged & begged Boy Teenager to let me come into the school with him so I could record his friends' reactions since none of them knew ahead of time what his costume was.
I'm so sad that I wasn't allowed to get out of the car with him.
He did console me with, "I'm sure the guys will get a lot of pictures that I'll forward to you." I did get to see some of the kids' reactions as I slooooowly pulled away from the curb in front of the school.
I do believe he deserves Best Costume this year.
Sure beats his idea last year: 2 days before the Halloween dance he informed that he wanted to go as mayonnaise. No amount of hours spent scouring every store within 150 mile radius could dig up anything to spark my imagination to make a mayo costume.
He went as an M&M.
It's a proud night here in our house. My every-sport-playing, super genius, conservative son has his Mom's Go Big or Go Home imagination. Excuse me while I get a tissue...I've got something in my eye again...