That's Me

That's Me

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

West Side Story With Drunks

Saturday night the hubs & I went to see West Side Story. I have to say...I wasn't thrilled. I'm not sure I would see it again. Unless someone else paid for the tickets & bought me a steak dinner with a glass of wine. Throw in the steak & wine & I'll do...okay, let's not go there...

So anyway, we had an awesome dinner without children! We need those nights. I ate my absolute favorite meal, Prime Rib so rare that I'm positive it mooed when the waiter set it on the table. Mmm, it's Heaven on a plate.

I have to say the first half of the musical was extremely boring. It dragged on forever & ever, the orchestra was too loud so we couldn't hear half the singers, and they spoke in Spanish way too often. I don't speak Spanish. Well, to be fair, I don't speak much Spanish. Boy Teenager has taught me how to say, "You are a dirty, cheap prostitute." And I can count to 10, thanks to Sesame Street. The only words I recognized during the whole show was uno & dos 'cause they didn't count higher than that. And they never said, "You are a dirty, cheap prostitute" so I was out of luck the rest of the time.

And the Puerto Rican accents were a tad thick to understand their English half the time. I can't tell you how many times the hubs or I would whisper to each other, "What did she just say?"

Let's add to all that with the lovely women who sat next to us. Oh, such lovely women. Well, I think they were women. They had boobs, but other than that, I'm not sure.

The one lady was wearing  black track pants, tennis shoes that looked to be too big, a very baggy black t-shirt, a yellow tie, and an orange button-up shirt that was not buttoned.

Her friend was wearing a dress that belonged on a prostituta barata, black all around her eyes in what I can only guess started out as cat eyes but didn't quite turn out so she just drew around her eyes in 1" thick circles. Since I didn't want to get my ass kicked by taking a picture of this ugly interesting creature thing lady person, I replicated her makeup on a picture of myself. I'm rather proud of how exact I got it.

Do you have any idea how hard it is not to scream when you look up from your nicely dressed world to see this looking down at you?? I'll have nightmares for a year. 

Do I really need to add here that these 2 women were drunk? So drunk that I had to keep my mouth closed because I could taste it off of them. It was horrendous. And the behavior matched. They didn't stop talking...not about the show, just random things...laughing too loud at inappropriate times, and throwing the f-bomb, and being total morons. 

At the intermission, these women got to the bathroom before I did. This is what happened...I was about #5 in the line, with about 1,972 women behind me. There were 10 stalls, all occupied. We had 20 minutes to get in & get out. Do the math. 

So Drunk Women come walking out of their stalls, walk past the sinks (oh, dear Lord, they didn't wash their hands!!), walk out. Women start to move up in line, 2 women take the stalls they came out of. All of a sudden the one wearing the tie came flying back in yelling, "I left my cup in the toilet! No one move!!" Then proceeded to stand in front of everyone not letting anyone go into the other stalls as women came out of them until she got her cup. She's lucky there were 2 women in front of me because I would have taken her down. Don't mess with a woman's potty time! 

Other than having to sit next to the Drunk Duo that bathed in even more whiskey during the intermission, the 2nd half of West Side Story was much better. I loved the second half. 

The hubs & I were taking pictures of ourselves. This one is my favorite. I'm getting it put on a big canvas for the 10' blank space on the living room wall...
Why does it look like my man is smokin' a doobie? And why is everything blurry but him? Seriously, what's up with this picture? 
And here's one without the phantom joint. 

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