That's Me

That's Me

Friday, April 27, 2012

My Brain is Confusing Me

A few things happened yesterday that made me realize I really need to take a break. Not sure what kind of break, but I'm thinking it should be soon.

The first was that a friend posted on The Facebook: "Looken forward to chillen on the couch w dinner and my VD! Yah love my nights with my VD!"

That's a direct quote, typos & all. Sorry to point out the awesome spelling in your post, friend, but hey, making it into my blog is an honor, don't ya know.

So this is my brain while reading that, "Tee hee...bwahahaha...gasp...cough...Wow, TMI, girlfriend, TMI! Bwahahaha...She better sanitize that couch before I come over...Wait..."

Then it hit me. Dang it, she doesn't mean venereal disease! She's talking about Vampire Diaries.

Man, I was so disappointed. First off, my friends should know not to post things like that because my brain will Go There. Second, it sucks when my brain does Go There & there's no one around to laugh with me. I hate when I realize I just had to Go There by myself & no one got to laugh with me. And I guess there's a third point here: I'm glad my friend doesn't actually have a venereal disease. I guess.

I was so excited to go order a cake from a bakery & watch the look on their faces when I request the piping say, "I'm sorry to hear about your VD. This too shall pass." My mouth was watering just thinking of eating that cake. And I was giggling thinking of taking it to her. Now I can't take it to her and I can't eat it. I could still get a cake & I could still request it say that, but it won't be the same. I'll just sit & pout now.

Now that I think of it, dear friend that posted on The Facebook, you made me sad. You owe me a cake. And it must say, "I'm sorry I don't have a VD." Maybe I'll forgive you, but it better be a good cake. No going cheap on this apology.

The other thing that happened yesterday occurred while I was driving to school. I had the radio on & my mind was wandering. This is why I hate driving. It takes so much damn concentration! I don't want to pay attention. I have too many lists in my head that need organizing. Being in my truck sans children should be the time I can put those mental lists in alphabetical & color coded order. But no. I have to pay attention 'cause I guess it would suck to run over someone; I would hate to be without my truck again while it was getting repaired.

Okay, I'm driving along, thinking about what I had to do after class & counting how many days until this semester is over & how many weeks closer to graduating that makes me...I hear: "Break a cyst."

In the next 1/2 a second I was thinking, "Whoa, I've never heard an ad for cysts before. Alright, medical world! Odd thing to advertise, the ability to break up cysts, but hey there are people out there suffering. Go, medical person who specializes in breaking cysts. Yay for you."

Yeah, I think fast.

The ad continues with: "Come see [insert fancy schmancy name] Car Sales today!"

Darn you, car dealership! It wasn't "break a cyst" was "brake assist." It was an ad for a car! Not awesome cyst breakage.

I truly need a vacation or I'm going to break.

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