I had the typical thoughts of "will it be healthy" and "will I be a good Mother" and "will I forget it somewhere" (maybe that one's not so typical). Foremost, though, was this fear, "What if my baby is ugly?"
I remember telling my Mom constantly that I was scared I would have an ugly baby & how do you love an ugly baby? And if I love it, will anyone else? And would anyone tell me it was ugly if I was blinded by Motherly Love? Or would they be like, "Oh, look how....isn't it just precious?" We all know that means, "WTF is wrong with that baby's face?"
My Mom would try her best to tell me that wouldn't happen but I didn't believe her. Too many times she hugged me while I couldn't shake this fear & I know she was fighting with all her might to not laugh out loud at me.
Then Amazing Grace was born...15 1/2 years ago already, whoa!...and she was of course the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. I did ask, "Is it just me or is she really beautiful?" In the first weeks, if a stranger commented how beautiful she was, I'd say, "For real? You think so too?" I got over that quickly but yeah, I did that.
Now I have this gorgeous teenager & it scares me. As she was growing up I would glow with pride whenever people would say how beautiful she was...especially since they would tell me she looked like me when they said. Now when they say it, well, they're saying it about my teenager! My teenager that boys...those evil, evil boys...are looking at.
Years ago I came up with a rule for dating. Any boy that wanted to date my daughters has to meet me & hang out at our house more than once so I can get to know them. Then they have to ask me personally if they can ask my girl out. This way I can weed them out. Any teenage boy that has the guts to ask me for permission to date my daughter is not just after one thing. It shows they will respect not only my rules about dating but also hopefully respect my daughter.
Last year one boy asked my girly out and she said, "You have to ask my Mom first." He said, "Then never mind." Gracie said she learned why I have that rule because if he couldn't do that then he wasn't worth her time. Yay Gracie!
So this boy has been coming over for months now, hanging out at our house, watching movies with all of us, eating dinner here, getting to know the entire family. He even came over while I had 2 friends over along with all their children. This house was full of 13 children & he memorized all of their names & played with every single one. What 17 year old boy wants to do that unless he really, really likes the girl? When he asked me last week if he could date my daughter I said yes.
Not only is he being respectful of our rules for dating & respectful of her boundaries, but he even cleaned her room last night! The boy said the dirty dishes on her dresser were disgusting & brought them to the kitchen. Oh, my word, I think I fell in love last night. A teenage boy that thinks dishes in a bedroom are disgusting & cleans?? Without being bribed to do it...yeah, he can date my daughter.
When he walked out of the room with a soda in his hand & said, "Yeah, I sleep with Dr. Pepper too" & made all of us laugh at the ridiculous things he was finding on her bed, I knew he could come over any time. What boy cleans a girls' bed while she sits in the living room?
He has a thing or two to learn about girls yet though. Like not telling her that Jacob in Twilight is ugly. There are a few things you don't mess with in Gracie's world...her shoes, her jeans, her lip gloss, and her Taylor Lautner. That girl will take you down over her shoes, you don't wanna know what she'll do for her Taylor.
Amazing Grace showing off her new shoes on Christmas Day. Don't mess with her shoes.
While I'm dealing with my fears of raising a teenage daughter, I'll keep putting money aside for that private investigator to follow her around.