That's Me

That's Me

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Mary Poppins

The hubs & I went to see Mary Poppins at the Performing Arts Center. I hate the movie...well, to be honest, I hate the first 10 minutes of the movie because that is when I stopped watching & took a nap instead. I am apparently the only person on the face of this planet who hates Mary Poppins. I thought she was a bitch the way she talked to the kids & the chimney sweep that knew everything about her...what I saw of it was a movie about a stalker & a child's mental abuser.

I was curious to see if I would like the live version better & since it was in our season tickets packet, I was given the chance to find out. I actually really liked it. It was really good. The choreography was amazing. I felt like a child giggling at the antics. The dancers were ballet and/or tap dancers and I could have watched them just dance for hours. (Oh, wait...that's what I did. Duh.) It was incredible, the talent.

My only complaint during the entire thing was intermission. It was 20 minutes and hundreds of women & children who needed to use the rest rooms. Do the math. So I bolt to the nearest rest room because my bladder was going to burst inside of me I'd drank, no lie, a gallon of water at dinner. I was thirsty. And for once, I am not exaggerating that number (me, exaggerate, never!) It was a gallon.

So I get to the rest room line. Stand there. Stand there. 15 minutes goes by, no one has moved in this line. Husbands were coming back, from their quick rest room experience, for their wives with the most awesome looks of, "What in the hell takes you women so long??"

We're all looking at each other & making comments like, "Wow, a lot of women must have gotten here before us and they must really have to go." Until my ability to see above everyone else in line...due to as my husband says, my being 7' tall...allows me to see that the first lady in line opens the door. And says, "Oh." We waited 15 minutes because Stupid Head Lady #1 didn't know she was supposed to open the door! That gave the approximately 15,349 women & girls in line 5 minutes to go potty and/or check their lipstick. Some people astound me with how they get through life with such a small amount of brain cells.

There was one point in the musical (remember I hated the movie, so you may know this already) where Mary Poppins just takes off on the family. What an incredibly horrible thing to do children--can you say separation anxiety? Those children are going to have a hard time getting close to anyone in their future relationships because of the trauma that caused, but whatever...apparently they don't care about that in Long Ago England.

So Mary Poppins takes off leaving behind depressed children & confused everyone else. Except the chimney sweep; he seemed like he expected this. But of course a creeper-stalker would know what to expect.

When Mary Poppins returns, the parents are all, "But you disappeared with no warning!" And Mary Poppins is all, "Duh. And I returned with no warning. Get over it." (I may or may not be paraphrasing here.)  To which the parents were all, "So how should we know we can trust you not to disappear again, bitch?" To which Mary Poppins replied, "You don't." And off she went to tuck the children into bed.

I turned to hubby & said, "That's my answer to you regarding our marriage." He said, "How do I know you're staying? I don't." Good boy, he learns quickly. Keep him on his toes, I say.

At another point Mr. Banks...which, by the way, it wasn't until an hour after the show had ended that I said, "Oh, my gosh, I just got that! His name is Mr. Banks 'cause he works in a bank! hahahaha" and hubby looked at me like he didn't know me. Or didn't want to know me. But I know what he was really thinking was, "Ah, I didn't know that! Thanks for pointing that out to me."

So Mr. Banks tells Mary Poppins to explain something she's caused the children to do. She looked over her shoulder and said, "First off, I don't explain myself." Yeah! Go, Mary! I turned to hubby & before I could say anything, he said, "I know." I told you he is a quick learner. We've only been married a year and a half. Good boy.

After all of this dancing and prancing and singing and umbrella flying, at the end of the show Mr. Banks ends up getting a raise of quadruple his pay & then Mrs. Poppins is no longer needed because she taught the children the lesson she was sent to teach.

The moral of the story was so clear to me & I was so excited to learn this lesson last night. It's something that I wasn't aware of & I want to share it because I feel every parent should know this moral.

The moral of Mary Poppins: When you get more money, you love your family more.

When Mr. Banks was worried about his job & about bills & about losing his home, he really could not stand his family. I guess it makes sense 'cause kids are money suckers. When he got this huge raise, he suddenly wasn't annoyed & even hugged his children. And kissed his wife on the lips! Which leads me to the second moral. When you're not worried about money, you're much more attracted to your spouse.

Proof that I was actually there. 

Proof Amazing Grace was there 2 days before me. She's the one with the black & white stripes & long black hair...and of course, amazing shoes.

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