That's Me

That's Me

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Food Glorious Food

It's always been apparent that food consumes me instead of just the other way around, but I'm beginning to think this is not normal. 

A few nights ago I did my usual not-able-to-sleep bit & I fell asleep about 3 in the morning. I woke up at the kitchen eating a Raspberry Milano cookie & holding a cold Snapple that I'd already drank some of. I was sleep eating. How fun. Now I don't even have to be awake to eat!

I have been known to call my Mother, text various people, and even sent an entire email that made complete sense...all in my sleep. I walk in my sleep. I once even opened my front door & flashed my boobies at some workmen that were working late on my new house. That was an interesting way to wake up, with my shirt over my head, hanging out the front door. What was even more fun was facing them the next day. Guys you have hired do not take you very seriously when they've randomly seen your boobies while they're working. Just some advice for ya.

A couple times a week, in the morning, I ask the hubs what he wants for dinner. He always says, "I dunno." This always annoys me. You'd think I'd just stop asking but I'm neither that nice nor that bright. Instead I sigh & get annoyed & tell him exactly why he's so annoying. Well, not why he's so annoying in general 'cause that would take forever & even I need to stop talking at some point wouldn't make sense since he's never annoying otherwise. 

"Dude. If I'm asking what you want for dinner, I want to know 'cause I don't know what to make." Duh. Geez, can't he figure this out? I mean, I don't ask every day, so obviously there's a reason I ask only sometimes.

What is wrong with him that he doesn't know, at 10 in the morning, what he wants for dinner? Seriously, a person goes to bed thinking about what they're going to eat the next day. They wake up drooling over what their dinner will be. What is wrong with this man that he doesn't do that? 

Um...he informed me that normal people don't do that. He said I'm not normal. Wow. I had no idea. Not the not normal part, 'cause I've been told that before. I didn't know that other people are so weird. They really don't fill up their days thinking about food? But food It's all sorts of awesome. It's like, the reason for getting through a bad day. You can always think, "But I still have dinner to look forward to." And if dinner was not enjoyable enough, you can always say, "But I've got my snack in an hour to look forward to." And you can repeat that every hour till you go to bed. It's a cheering thought.

With the way I eat & the way I absolutely adore food, I should weigh 3 times what I do. It's the kids...I think I burn 1,000 calories every time one of them makes me think or say, "What in the world is he/she thinking/doing/saying?" And considering they're my kids...yeah, I say that a lot.

So one night hubby says he doesn't know what he wants for dinner. The kids said the same. I said, "Screw you people." I made my own dinner & told them to fend for themselves.

And this was my dinner. Yes, sir, that is a cheesecake. And it was yummy.

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