The "Mother" of hubby's kids is quite something. I honestly have never in my life met someone so vile.
I would love to get along with her & co-parent with her. That would make me so happy. Being such a miserable person, she can't do it.
Just an idea of what I deal with from her, I have gotten many, many calls from the police & not one of them was for anything I actually did wrong. Quite a few of them have been because she didn't like my name being on emails that are from hubby & me. One of the calls was because I was in the car when we picked up the kids & she didn't like that. Several of the calls have been fabricated emails or texts; things I never said & I had the original on my computer or phone to show that she changed words. That's just a hint of what I deal with from her.
The police have told me they're sick of her calling but they call me to let me know what her current complaint is. One time she even took me to court to have a judge tell me to not cross my arms when I talk to her. The judge, of course, thought that was ridiculous & did nothing about it. She also told a police officer, after kidnapping the kids, that if I leave, hubby can have his kids back. This was exactly a week after we got married. This was also after she told the court that she knows I love her children & is glad that I take good care of them. The mind...it boggles.
On a happy note, she has been court ordered to stop calling police & wasting the court's time. I could not hold back the big ass grin on my face in the court room that day.
Last night we had set up a teacher conference with step-son's teachers. I met hubby at the school after my day at my school & we went to the class room, where we were met by the principle. The principle informed us that "Mom" had said they were not allowed to talk to either of us if I was present. I don't know what she told them about me, but they were all set to escort me out of the room. As if I was going to cause a scene? I graciously apologized for her putting them in that spot & sympathized with them over what a tough spot that is for them & that they're only doing their job.
I went in the hall, where I could hear everything. I was able to text hubby my input on the conversation & he was able to tell them my thoughts on things.
Really, what was the point of this? You know what, if my kids' step-mom took an interest in my kids' education, I would be thrilled! When she shows up at their games or activities, I'm very happy. Not because I love this woman or can't wait to sit with her, but because the kids need to see a united front & in my opinion, the more adults that care about my kids the better.
In fact, I have a history with my kids' step-mom that is not pretty. I have a reason to not want to be around her. But all that matters to my kids is that I set that aside & sat with her at the basketball game & told her I appreciated her driving all that way after work. I sit & give her son things to keep him occupied to make her time sitting there more enjoyable (because we've all had that toddler who didn't want to sit still). I invited her and my kids' Dad to my daughter's 8th grade graduation dinner, so that my daughter could see all 4 of her parents together in a room happy for her.
Would I do this just 'cause I wanted to? Hell no! I don't want to do it. My kids deserve it. Did God tell me this was a part of forgiveness? Nope. I'm not commanded to sit, eat, joke with my ex & his wife. I do it because it makes my kids so extremely happy and because frankly, it makes my life easier. I'm all about making my life easier. Letting go of crap is very freeing & really does make my life easier because it's one less thing I have to carry around. It's easier to have fun with them than to stare at the back of their heads seething with anger.
I have no history with hubby's ex. I didn't break their family up. I never hurt her. I never said anything to her kids about her.
The teachers acknowledged how step-son's spelling & writing is improving since I started working with him. They can actually read what he writes now...because I have him practice his letters over & over so they're readable. My math-genius son is tutoring step-son in math & they acknowledged how his math has improved greatly. So I'm good enough for those things that she isn't willing to do but she has to be a controlling twit about me being able to talk to the teachers?
Last night my absolute favorite line EVER from a movie replayed over & over in my head...and it's from my favorite movie EVER...Source
So, to the woman who is not thinking about her children's best interest & only thinking of herself:
"Just because you don't have the life I have & you're jealous of what the two of us have together, doesn't mean you have the right to control us. For 2 1/2 years I've been dying to tell you what I think of you...but...being a Christian woman, and knowing God wants me to rise above your level, I won't say it!"
Not that I would be sad if this were to happen to her.