Not Being Able to Sleep Now Comes in Contagious Form

It's a known fact I have chronic insomnia. I've been a "night owl" for as long as my parents can remember, but I remember distinctly the day/night I began not being able to fall asleep until 5 in the morning or not at all. I was 14. I dreamt that my Dad had a heart attack & died in his sleep. I began crawling into his room in the middle of the night to make sure he was breathing. I got so obsessed with making sure my Dad hadn't died that I would stay up all night to make sure he was alive & woke up in the morning.

I very rarely slept normally again after that, though I'm positive that didn't cause it.

The majority of people have a couple nights during their lifetime where they can't sleep & they can attribute the interruption from the norm of sleeping to something. Stress. Worry. Teething/Crying/Nursing/Newborn baby. Teenager out all night. Not their own bed. New house. And once those things pass, they're back to their normal sleep routine. 

Some people, like my Mom & my husband, can sleep just by telling their bodies to go to sleep. That's totally foreign to me! To be able to lay down, close your eyes, and fall asleep...just because it's time to...whoa, trying to figure that one out could totally fry my brain. I have never in my life been able to do that without the aid of prescription medications.

For me, there is no reason for the insomnia & sleeping like other people is actually a rare break from the norm. Hence the chronic part. I'm tired.  I want to sleep. I try to sleep. I close my eyes...Nuttin, honey.

My Dad has passed many traits onto me. He taught me at a young age how to stand up for myself. How to be independent. "You will learn to change your own oil, because you will never be at the mercy of a man to do this for you." How to not let others tell me what to believe. Unless it's identical to what he believes. How to think for myself & not be a sheeple. Or a Democrat. I also got my love of writing from my Dad, although I definitely did not get my walking dictionary/spell check talent from him. 

And I can't forget that he passed onto me to be proud of my heritage, "You can tell a Dane, but you can't tell him much." 

Oh wait...it's my Mom that says that to my Dad and me...and I'm beginning to think she says it not as a source of pride or jealousy of our heritage...she just may be making fun of us...that sneaky non-Danish Mom of mine...she's good.

Another thing my Dad passed onto me is insomnia. Ever since I can remember, I could walk past my parents' closed bedroom door to hear his radio on (turned to AM, of course) & pages turning as he read. The radio went off & the book was laid down as soon as he was going to sleep, always well after midnight. 

I've never really taken the time to explain insomnia to my children. They've known this about me their entire lives & they all have eventually come to realize that it's not normal to go potty in the middle of the night & find a Mommy wide awake. They see how tired I am, they hear me talk about it.

Well, I realized this morning that I may need to explain what exactly it is to at least one child. This morning my 8 year old asked me, "If I lay with you, will I catch The Insomnia?" Yeah...it might be helpful to let her know she doesn't have to worry about not being able to sleep.

On the other hand, I do need a new empty threat to throw at the kids. "If you don't clean that room, I'll give you The Insomnia." or "Eat all your dinner or you'll catch The Insomnia from me." I could have fun with this one. I could even get one of the teens in on it to mess with the little kids' heads even further. Get a teen to not do what I say, tell them they'll catch The Insomnia, for the next few days have the teen complain about not having been able to sleep lately.

I am so going to use this one.