On Friday I was talking with a friend about the adult Halloween costumes out there. Some of them are just hilarious. Some of them are slutty. Some of them are just downright raunchy.
That got me thinking about what an appropriate costume is for a Mother of Many. I came up with a few.
This one requires only poster board, glue, yarn, and a marker. On the top of the left hand side of the poster board, write "BEFORE." On the top of the right hand side write "AFTER." Go to the handy dandy interwebs & find a picture of a playboy centerfold. Or any naked hot chic. Print it out. Glue to the spot under "AFTER." Punch holes under the "BEFORE" spot for the yarn. Put the yarn around your naked body and tie the poster board to yourself. You are now a Plastic Surgeon's Advertisement.
Put on mismatched socks. Wrinkly t-shirt. Too-big men's sweat pants. Dribble coffee down the front of your shirt. Drizzle spaghetti sauce down one leg of your pants. Don't brush your hair. Put on a ball cap. Wipe black eye shadow in a circular motion under your eyes. Tuck a thermometer in your pocket & a bottle of Tylenol in your other pocket. You're now Tired Mom of Sick Children.
This is the easiest costume. Get naked & get completely wet. That's it. You are Shoulda Made Sure No One Took The Last Towel Without Telling Me Laundry Needs To Be Done Before Taking A Shower.
This one is also easy. You need to draw black circles under your eyes with that hand dandy black eye shadow. Put on hubby's t-shirt, some comfy pants, tennies, and a zip-up sweatshirt. All you have to carry is a threaded needle & a child's costume. You are now I'm Up Till Dawn Because My Child Just Told Me Last Night That He Needs An Entire Elizabethian Costume For School In 12 Hours.
Maybe someone out there will want to use my ideas. Just make sure you credit me as the source (in MLA format, please) and send me a picture.
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