Our Weekend

This weekend the hubs & I took our children to the Renaissance Faire with my parents & my little brother. Well, younger brother. He's like 4 inches taller than me, but he'll always be my baby that I have to protect, so in my world he's still my little brother.

My 8 year old fiery little red head loves to see the fairies. She's so excited to be invited into their world & it's the best feeling in the world to watch her face as a fairy touches her or mimics what she's doing. At one point she grabbed my hand & literally dragged me through half of the park chasing fairies because she was unaware of anything else around her. It's fun to see things through her eyes for a day. To watch her as the enchanted world comes alive makes me want her to hold onto her belief in fairies forever.

It's a magical place, that Ren Faire. Women in their corsets for the men to look at; some mighty fine knights in shining armor for us women. All in all a great day for everyone.

The hubs & I stopped at a corsets maker lady to see how much they cost. I really wanted a corset. Hubby liked that I really wanted a corset. The corset maker fitter lady (I don't know her actual title but she was in the corset maker lady's building with a tape measure around her neck) said, "Oh, you have plenty going on up there with your girls. We could definitely play with those." That's when the hubby man lost all ability to be a coherent human.

When the corset maker fitter lady told him they had chairs & he was more than welcome to have a seat & watch my fitting, the hubs became jello. Seriously, just a wiggly puddle on the floor. I don't know where fitter lady learned her sales techniques, but she knows what to say to make a man incapable of refusing to buy from her. Women fitting other women's boobs into clothing that makes those boobs bounce up to their chins, chairs for the men to put their feet up & watch...the only thing that store needed was popcorn.

I could have done without this guy:

He has Wings & Feet! I pushed my daughter over to him. I told her it was to take her picture but really, I just used her as a distraction so he wouldn't come after me. It worked too. Throwing a little girl at him distracted him while I ran through the crowd screaming, "Bird men have arrived! Take cover!" The future therapy bills for my children will be a small price to pay for my escape from head pecking of a 6 foot tall bird man.

I had to use the ever so lovely port-a-potties at the Ren Faire. Just to give you an idea of how much I can't stand these things, when I was little we went camping as our family vacations. I'm not talking RVs with toilets camping, I'm talking you better not run out of gas while getting to the campsite because no one will hear your screams for help. I'm talking tent in the woods with outhouses. The hole in the outhouse seat was bigger than my body. I was convinced my parents were trying to get rid of me. One slip off that huge old seat & I would be gone forever. I made my Mother come in the wooden poop shed and hold my hands while I sat so I wouldn't fall in. No way was I letting them off that easy by just falling in a hole that went to Lord only knows where. They were going to have to work to get rid of me.

So I enter the port-a-potty with my 11 year old. There is someone's bodily function on the seat, on the floor, and calling to us from inside the potty. When poo calls to you, you're know you're in trouble. We walked out & the first guy in line said, "Ooh, look at her face. That is not a good sign." I don't have a poker face under the best circumstances. Put me in a john that I'm already scared of & where I know what the last person did in there...not able to hide what I'm thinking. My face has never been a lovelier shade of green.

(That's Idina Menzel as Elphaba, from the musical Wicked, but that's what I looked like. But without the hat. And I wasn't wearing black.)

Even with the bird man & the Elphaba face inducing potty, it was an amazing day.