Surgery Rundown

I had surgery just under 12 hours ago. I had an amazing surgeon and nursing staff, and I appreciate all the care they gave me. Having as many opportunities to meet various surgical staff as I have had over the last (almost exactly) 3 years, I have had some great, some okay, and some downright nasty nurses (thankfully those are aswesomely outnumbered by the greats). The surgeon & every nurse was at the top of my list for the best I've ever had care for me.

Before the surgery I told my surgeon about the freakish things I'd read online about other patients' recovery from this exact surgery. I told him how it haunted me & I was terrified to have to live with a catheter for 18 months & unable to use my legs from the pain for the same amount of time. I mean, if I'm going to have to carry my own urine, I'd like the use of my legs so I can still implant my foot in various people's booties. His response: "What in the world were you reading about??" Turns out I have been freaking out for no reason because it wasn't about this exact surgery. I misspelled one of the words by just a few letters (which was similar to what I needed but much, much more invasive). So if anyone wants info on the other nightmare of a surgery, I've got plenty of links & videos for you in my bookmarks.

Dr. FixIt was very amused by my description of the horror that I watched. He said that really is how they do the other surgery (not someone's idea of a lovely joke for anxious patients) & he appreciated my take on what he does for a living. Then he asked why I wanted to see how my surgery was performed beforehand. Hubby told him I'm sick like that.

Dr. FixAWoman proceeded to inform us on how he actually does this surgery & asked me why I didn't read the information he sent me on it so I would know it was different than what I saw. As hubby paled from the thought of his poor, sweet wife being treated so inhumanely, I said, "Because I already saw the video. I didn't want to see drawings in a pamphlet too. I was scared enough. Duh."

As soon as I was coherent in recovery, the nurses took great pleasure in telling me how exactly I woke up from surgery. I woke up crying (which I had warned them I have done 4 out of the 5 previous encounters with the OR). But instead of crying for hubby like I have in the past, I cried for my Mom. Apparently I was sobbing pretty hard that I needed my Mom. One nurse came to sit by me & tell me I'd be able to see my Mom later in an attempt to calm me down. I looked at her & cried even harder, "I'm so sorry that you're all fuzzy! I don't have my glasses." In my drugged upsetedness (see my new word?) I thought I had made her permanently fuzzy because I didn't have my glasses. Finally they told me that she would be just fine living fuzzy & I went back to sleep.

The nurse who wheeled me out of the hospital told me how jealous of my hair she was. She not only loved the color (quite proud of my red hair, thank you very much) but she is jealous of my curly hair. Oh, that woman really shouldn't make people laugh after having muscles cut open. Her exact words: "Curly hair is so much easier to take care of!" Ah, wow, writing that made me realize it still hurts to laugh. Only a straight haired woman would say that! Since I was actually able to tame my curls this morning, maybe it did look "easy". But anyone who has seen me on a humid day, in the heat instead of A/C, can attest to the fact that curls are not "easy" to control. I know of a few people, especially those who have seen my afro first thing in the morning, who will agree with me there.

I shall now refer to my visits to the surgical units as my human version of oil changes. I think it's fitting. I run decent for a time after the oil gets changed, then start to slow down & need another change in a few months. Here's to hoping that the parts run smoothly from here on out & I'm done with the mechanics.