Surgery

When a doctor tells you that you need surgery, and it happens to be your 6th surgery in 3 years, the appropriate reaction might be anger. Or disbelief. Or shock. Or maybe anything. Except hysterical laughter. Trust me, as much as the urge to hold your sides and laugh till tears run down your face may hit you, don't do it. Doctors tend to worry about your mental health, and inappropriate responses are apparently a red flag.
Now when the doctor starts listing possible complications of the surgery and says, "But in all my 20 years doing this surgery, I've never seen this..." Resist the urge to laugh even harder and say, "You will now!" Having "demented" stamped on your medical folder in front of you is not as fun as it sounds. I wonder if I can get that rubber stamp from Hobby Lobby. It would be fun to add that to my scrapbooking collection.
After I had this particular specialist look at my history and the exciting things that have happened to me following all 5 major surgeries, he understood. Yes, I have the rarest of rare complications happen...one of those complications even had doctors coming in just to see me in the hospital because they'd "only heard of" that complication. Doctors who had nothing to do with me. Doctors from other hospitals. Dang, doctors are a nosy bunch.
I watched a video of the surgery I have to have. The hubby man covered his eyes and whimpered through it; I'm not sure I blinked the entire 12 minutes. Who needs Saw VI? This was horror at its best. I have it bookmarked and threaten the children with forced viewing if they don't do my bidding. This is the best blackmail/bribery/punishment I've come up with yet. All this time I've been working on teaching my kids right from wrong and fostering self-discipline. Who knew all I needed was a video of scalpels and internal organs to force them into doing the right thing.