Props to the resourceful people in front of me at a drive-thru...
We've got a plastic grocery bag duct taped over the side mirror...just barely holding it onto the car. I'm not sure the purpose here because a mirror is there to be used, not just for decoration, and you can't even see it. That would drive me crazy--there's a mirror in there but I can't see in it! But hey, the majority of people don't even bother recycling plastic bags, so I'll give credit for that.
Cords holding up the bumper, which makes me wonder how many times it fell off before they came up with this solution, and what they did before. "Kids, get in the trunk. I'll drive slow, I swear. Just reach down and hold up the bumper so Mama doesn't have to keep getting out to pick it up out of the highway."
Whatever that black thing is holding the trunk shut. No amount of staring at it, no matter how I turned my head or crossed my eyes, I could not figure out what it was. What my eyes saw was a fish net, but that can't be right. Whatever it is, it created a this bounce as they drove away, similar to a large busted woman running without a sport bra, which was amusing.
There was also duct tape all along all of the doors, which I can only assume is their version of child safety locks. I pictured Mama crawling over seats, over properly buckled up but screaming children, getting her foot caught in random seat belts, cursing at the Lego stuck into her knee when she put all her weight on it, just to reach through windows and lock everyone in. "Stop poking my butt, Little Jimmy! I will move it when I'm done locking you in. Don't tickle Mama's armpit, Gloria! I need both arms to reach down the side of the car."
I was nervous being behind them. I am way too lazy to get out of my vehicle to help someone pick up parts of their car to tape them back on before they get back on the road. I'm not exactly sure how legal all of this is, but I appreciate the visual images I got for the 4.2 minutes I was behind them waiting for my Coke.