That's Me

That's Me

Sunday, November 18, 2012

When Your Kid Wants a Cookie Cake

When your kid wants a cookie cake, you will tell her you don't need to buy one, you can make one.

What Blondie wanted.Source
When your kid wants a cookie cake, you will look on Pinterest. You will be excited to learn that it's super easy to make a cookie cake.

When you find a cookie cake on Pinterest, you will mix the batter, pour in the chocolate chips, & put it in the oven. 

When you put a cookie cake in the oven, you will turn around to make the frosting & suddenly smell smoke. 

When you smell smoke, you will open the oven to see:

Why, yes that IS cookie cake batter that you will see all over the bottom of your oven. Your oven that you just sat on your hands & knees & scrubbed squeaky clean a few days ago. 

When you open the oven to see your kid's cookie cake running off of the pan, you will do this:

 And then this:

because you have to wave a towel like this:

at your smoke alarm.

After you make faces like that & you get sick of fanning smoke alarms & you yank them down & you throw them & their batteries onto your hubby's work bench in the garage,  you will pull the running-over batter out of the oven and dump it onto another pan. Only to realize you no longer have enough batter for that size pan. So you dump it into another, smaller pan. And you will have a mess like this:

After a mess like this, you will look into the oven & look like this:

You will look like this because in your oven you see:

Being in such a great mood, you will grab a large spoon & scoop up the burning batter. When you scoop up the burning batter with a large spoon, you will throw launch the burning batter into your sink & leave it like this:

When you leave your sink like this, you will look like this:

because you are saying, "God, this is not funny. I have 3 papers to write before midnight, a hundred giggly 13 year old girls waiting to be entertained, a splitting headache, a Birthday girl who only really, really a cookie cake, a Pinterest fail in my oven, and I would prefer to not have my house burn down tonight. If You are wondering how serious I am, look at my face. Thank you."

After you pray for the strength to get through the night, you will have a kitchen to clean. The house will survive, the cake will survive, and you will survive.

When your kid wants a cookie cake, you will have a cake 1/2 the size of the original, the mini chocolate chips will all melt while you are scooping it into so many pans while it is half baked so you will end up with a chocolate cake instead & you will end up being so ready to be done for the night that you will dye all of the frosting instead of only half, so you end up with 1 solid color instead of the 3 colors you were planning on:

What Blondie got.

When your kid wants a cookie cake, you will say, "Screw it. It's close enough to the picture & if she doesn't like it, she can make her own damn cake. I'm so over this."

Curse you, Pinterest. 

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