That's Me

That's Me

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Two New Drivers

The long awaited day finally arrived.

I scheduled the road test for Amazing Grace & my Other Daughter only half an hour apart, so that we could all go together. They are the first in their circle of friends to be able to test for their license & they do everything else together, so it only seemed right to be able to do this together.

This picture of Other Daughter's armpit accurately depicts the nerves those girls & their Mamas were feeling today.

Yes, she sweated
through her sweatshirt.
Other Daughter was shaking & talking a mile a minute. She's always the cool & collected one so it was pretty weird to see her so nervous. Amazing Grace was a bundle of nerves & could barely sit still all day.

Hubby told Amazing Grace, while filling out the paperwork, "I'm revoking my sponsor status."
She wasn't amused.
Guess what this face means.
After a very long 15 minute wait, picturing the worst, hoping for the best, the tester man & Amazing Grace came back. I didn't even know they were back & tester man was talking to hubby without me there. Um, hello! A Mama wants to be in on the talk too. As I walked outside to where they were standing & heard the last of their conversation, all I could think was, "He sounds so serious. She looks so serious. She didn't pass."

Then he announced, "...and you passed." Amazing Grace & I jumped at each other & I think we may or may not have screamed just a wee bit. 

Tester man then took Other Daughter for her drive & I had that anxious wait again. Standing outside with everyone else, it seemed to take forever & I was just as nervous for her as I had been for Amazing Grace. After they got back, tester man had his little talk with Other Daughter & her real Mom while we waited on the other side of the parking lot, holding our breath. Until we got a thumbs up from Other Daughter. 

Sisters from other Misters

"I Passed" Smile #2!!
My biggest fear of today was that one would pass & the other wouldn't. It would have been heart breaking to watch these girls go through that. It wasn't even a matter of how to be happy for one while not making the other feel worse. It was how to be happy at all because I knew that if one of the girls didn't pass, the other would not be happy for herself. I knew when I scheduled the appointments that it would be a risk to do them together; it would either be a very happy day or a very sad day. I also knew that whether they passed or failed, they would each want their friend-sister to be the first to know. 

I'm so proud of both these girls for passing the first of many of life's big tests. This is the first step to adulthood. The first step to new responsibilities. The first step to new freedoms. And the first step to being independent & on their own. 

Watching Other Daughter pull into our driveway all by herself & watching Amazing Grace leave in my truck to go get Blondie after track practice...was the strangest feeling I've ever felt. It wasn't fear, it wasn't dread. It was a whole lot of emotions all at once but overall it was, "I'm not ready for this." It was a deep desire to throw myself on the ground, kick my feet, pound my fists, & yell, "She's mine & I'm keeping her little!" 

For a brief moment I felt like a 4 year old watching someone else play with my favorite doll & braiding her hair when her face was clearly shaped for a ponytail or putting Tuesday's outfit on her when it's Thursday (everyone had those rules for their toys, right?) I wanted to grab my doll, lock her in the cupboard, & tell life that she gets to go be mean to some other Mama, because this one isn't playing anymore. 

Since I'm not 4, Amazing Grace & Other Daughter aren't dolls, & time doesn't slow down just because I tell it to...& it's illegal to hide real children in locked cupboards...I instead decided to be excited & happy for this new chapter of their lives & that I get to be a part of it. 

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