That's Me

That's Me

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Minor Issues

The life of a student Mama is never easy, but it can definitely put certain Heavenly Virtues to test at times. Especially in the summer when the kids are not in school but the Mama is.

No matter how many times I tell the kids, "Pretend I'm not home. I'm shutting my door, I'm studying, I'm not available," someone always seems to forget. My door flies open & I'm asked important questions like, "Where is the cereal I like?" or "Can I go to my friend's party in 6 weeks that she might have if her Mom says it's okay to take us to the pool but if it's not okay then we're just going to go to the zoo if her Dad can take us but if he can't then can 12 of my friends come here to camp out and roast marshmallows and swim in our pool and I can't wait pleeeeeeeeassssse?"

Once again I laid it all out to the kids. A reminder of how this summer would go, lest they forget how well last summer went. Mama's not available. The 2 Teenage Children are each in charge of 2 little children while I'm studying. Any questions, go to your Teenage Supervisor. Pretend Mama is gone far away & you can't talk to her. Only get Mama if there's an emergency.

An emergency is really easy to figure out because it consists of one of the following:

~a limb has fallen off of a sibling (sibling is defined as anyone I am legally bound to provide food & shelter for until they turn 18)
~flames are eating any portion of my house (not concerned with anyone else's home at the moment)
~an owie that has collected more than a pint of blood (again, only from a sibling & do not get me until it reaches a full pint)  

Yesterday went something like this:

Me listening to lecture, making notes
Knock on my door
Me: "Yes?"
Child: "Can I ride my bike?"
Me: "Why are you asking me? Ask your Supervisor."
Rewind lecture, make notes over notes I already wrote

Knock on my door
Me: Sigh "What?"
Child: "Can I have Ramen?"
Me: "Yes."
Rewind lecture a bit, make more notes over the ones I'd already written

Fight in hallway by my door
Me: "Guys! Take it somewhere else!"
Rewind lecture a lot, scribble out notes that make no sense

Fight in kitchen
Me: "Seriously!! That's not helping!"
Rewind lecture all the way to beginning, throw out notes 'cause I have no idea what they're supposed to mean

Knock on my door
Me: "What?!"
Child: "Someone's in the bathroom & I have to go."
Me: "Really? Really!?"
Turn off lecture, start on paper that's due tomorrow

From somewhere in the yard: "Moooooom!!!!!"
Throw laptop & book across room

Me: Sigh. Text hubby: "This is not working!!"

That sums up 10 minutes of my day. Use your imagination for the rest of the day.

The best was this knock on my door:

The Redhead says, "Mom, I'm bleeding."

Me: "Is it an emergency?"

Redhead: "Um..."

Me: "Can you put a bandaid on it?"

Redhead: "Yes."

Me: "Then what is it?

Redhead: "Minor issue." And she shut my door.

Proof that they really do get it. I've told them many times to leave the minor issues for their Supervisors. They just like to see if I have that virtue called Patience.

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