Taking the Daughter Shopping, Take Two

I either married a very brave man or a very stupid one. I'm still deciding. Since he obviously didn't learn from this shopping trip with Oldest Daughter, he decided to take her shopping again. With her friend! Oh, Lord, please help that man. Two teenage girls. At the same time. Shopping.

Maybe he's just a sucker for the cute little puppy dog eyes face she gives him.

It's not just the shopping in & of itself that makes this the ultimate experience. It's what happens before, during, and after that turns grown men & women into drooling fools incapable of doing anything but rocking in the corner by themselves for 24 hours afterward.

First you enjoy the excitement in the vehicle for the 45 minute ride to the mall, which makes teenage girls talk like they're full of a mix of helium & Mountain Dew. High pitched & fast. It's a beautiful phenomenon, I tell ya.

Then you endure the up & down of aisles, in & out of dressing rooms, tossing of clothing over & under dressing room doors, maneuvering your adult body around teenage girls who have lost all sense of direction. And the noise. Oh my goodness, the noise! I swear there are always at least 5 people for each square foot of space in the store and everyone is yelling across the store to their friend. Because no one is in the same square foot of space as the person they came with. And the music has to be a level that makes the little man in your head use a sledge hammer to bang on the inside of your forehead in rhythm to the song that's playing. Doesn't matter what song it is, the little head-man is capable of keeping beat with it. Even if he's never heard it before.

After 17 hours of trying on clothes, half of which are tried on only for the photo op because they're so hideous, you finally get back into the vehicle. Only to discover teenage girls turn into humming birds on crack after shopping. And parents turn into incoherent puddles of warm jello wishing their vehicle could be put on auto-pilot so they could nap on the way home.

Hope the hubby man is enjoying his afternoon with those girls. 'Cause writing all of that wore me out so I'm taking a nap.