Rotate for Proper Fattening

Surgery does have its perks when you have people around you who can cook & bake.

First my Mom fills me up with fried chicken, mashed potatoes, lasagna. Nothing makes you heal quicker than your Mama's cookin'.

Then I have a friend tell me that since I'm stuck resting I get to be her guinea pig for dessert recipes. She makes the most awesome dessert I've ever had in my life, and now I get to eat more of her baking? I'm in!

I told Ms. Desserts that by the time I'm allowed exercise, I'll have to be rolled around the house. She was so sweet (ha ha get it? Desserts...Sweet...I made a funny.) to offer to rotate me so that the fat doesn't settle in one spot. Can I get an "Aw" for that one? Not many people are willing to rotate your fat for you.

At least I won't have to worry about being lopsided. It's already difficult to find clothes that fit when you have amazon legs & ape arms. Not that my arms are extremely hairy or have feet for hands. They are just longer than a normal woman has on her body. Which works for me, because if I was short, I would just look like a caveman dragging my knuckles. But I'm tall so it's okay. And don't ask my hubby how tall I am 'cause he'll tell you I'm 7 feet. I'm not that tall, that would just be scary.

I already have to find tall pants, tall shirts ('cause my torso matches my legs & arms, thankfully, again visions of knuckle dragging). Now I would have to find clothes that are wider on one side than the other. I would have to buy XXL shirts, cut them in half & sew them to half of a size M. That's a lot of work. Thank goodness I don't have to do that because Ms. Baker is going to put me on a stick like a rotisserie chicken.

Now I'm hungry.