The Costs of Medical Care

Surgery is expensive. Even if you have really good insurance, it's not cheap. And I'm not just talking the actual surgeon/anesthesiologist/hospital stay/med costs. By the way, did you know that an ice pack in the hospital is like, $300? Dang, who is their supplier 'cause I want in on that racket.

But the real costs add up after you get home. Gossip magazines, random cravings for soft serve ice cream late at night, easy meals for the caretaker to make after a long day at work, it all adds up. And don't forget that laying in bed for an extended amount of time makes a woman take advantage of this cool technological advance called Online Shopping. Cue an angel singing hallelujah...

Online Shopping is a great way to whittle away the hours while laying in bed with my beloved laptop.

I really want an Anniversary band. And not just any band, a particular band. It would compliment my wedding band so nicely. It's just calling out to me & I don't want to leave it orphaned. The thought of it sitting there all lonely, waiting to be matched up with its soul mate, makes me so sad I can't even put it into words.

(I added eyelashes to my sad face drawing so you know it's a girl. 'Cause boy faces don't have eyelashes. The other drawing is the broken heart of the rings when they're not united.)


I found the ring I want when I accidentally happened upon a jewelry site. I have no idea how I got on this site. You know how it is, you click on this & this & this & pretty soon you're at a random place you had absolutely no intention of visiting.

I had a thought. I could buy this ring & give it to hubby to give to me in October on our Anniversary. Is that bad to ensure I get exactly what I'm dreaming of? He's not a typical clueless guy when it comes to gifts, and he's always done well with what he's bought me. So I don't really have an excuse like that to do this. I just want the ring. And while he knows I want one, I want to make sure I get that one.

I realized that if I bought the ring, he would notice the money missing from our account. So I had an idea on how to sneak the money out of our account so he'll never notice. (I don't know how I would get him to give it to me without knowing I bought it...but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Why focus on tiny details?) So I had some ideas on how to do this.

First I'll take it out in small amounts here & there. A large sum all at once is obvious. But small tidbits are easy to explain. I can say I paid the kids to rub my feet (which I actually do so that wouldn't surprise him), I paid the kids for various extra jobs around the house (when he asks why that particular job isn't actually done, I can blame the kids for taking advantage of me being in bed & took the money without working), I needed a strawberry sundae during the day. I can say I gave the kids advances on allowance. Lot of advances. Another one: I could say that each of the 6 kids' teachers called me personally to tell me that the school supplies I bought weren't enough, so I had to buy more. Who would question that? I figure I've got quite a store of money just with those excuses.

Then I came up with some ideas to save on money in other areas so those bills are cheaper. My theory is if a bill is usually $75.00 & I get it down to $60.00, that's $15.00 I don't have to explain. How smart is that?

~Gas for my truck. Then I just won't drive it anywhere for a while to save gas. I'll get other people to give me rides.
~I'll cut back on water usage. I'll pee outside to save on water going out. I'll steal late at night ask permission to use water out of the neighbor's hose for my drinking, laundry & dishes. Okay, that'll be a hard one to sneak into the house because I'm not the one doing the laundry or dishes right now, but again, small detail to be dealt with later.
~I'll turn off my fan & deal with my body overheating. I can think of menopause as my own personal sauna! Saunas are good for you. This will save electricity. I can also run a really long extension cord from the neighbor's patio outlet to run the refrigerator off of. If I spray paint the cord green, they won't see the blaring orange laying in their yard, so they'll have no idea. But I'm sure if I asked them to do it, they would have absolutely no problem with it, because I'm sure I've done something for them in the past that I can blackmail them with make them realize how much they love me.
~I'll go on a fasting diet. I've read that it's good to give your digestive system a break once in a while, so I'll be doing my body a favor at the same time. Plus I can say that I gave someone money to run to the fast food place to get me lunch while he was at work. That'll cover a couple excuses: "I'm still full from lunch, so no dinner for me" & I gave my Mom cash to run & get me fast food for lunch. See what I did there?
~I'll plan the kids going to their friends' houses around meal time. All of the kids. Every day. Every meal. Another way to save on the food bill.

Yup, this will totally work.